Losing a parent is one of the most profound experiences a person can go through. It can feel as though the foundation of your life has shifted, leaving behind an emptiness that is difficult to put into words. The grief that follows is deeply personal, often unpredictable, and can affect every part of your daily life from your emotions to your physical wellbeing.
This losing a parent guide is here to provide gentle support during such a challenging time. Within these steps, you’ll find practical strategies to cope with loss, create healthy rituals, and begin to heal while honouring your parent’s memory. The goal isn’t to “move on” but to help you carry the love you shared in a way that feels lighter and more manageable.
If you are finding grief hard to carry, a GP, counsellor or psychologist is the best first call. This guide also covers where self-guided tools such as Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming may fit alongside that support, and where to find help right now.
Step 1: Allow Yourself to Grieve
When it comes to losing a parent, the first and most important step is to allow yourself to grieve. Many people try to hold back tears, hide their sadness, or “stay strong” for others, but holding emotions back can make the pain harder to carry over time. Giving yourself permission to feel whether that’s crying, talking, or simply sitting with your emotions is a healthy and necessary part of the healing process.
It’s important to remember that grief is not linear. You may feel okay one day and overwhelmed the next, and that doesn’t mean you’re moving backward. Grieving takes time, and each person’s journey looks different. Instead of pressuring yourself to “get over it,” focus on honouring your feelings as they come, even if they don’t make sense in the moment.
Holding feelings back is a common way of coping, and over time it can add to the strain. If the feelings feel too big to sit with, a GP, counsellor or psychologist can help you work out what support suits you.
Step 2: Build a Support System
After losing a parent, it’s easy to feel isolated in your grief. Many people withdraw because they don’t want to burden others with their emotions, but carrying the weight of grief alone can make healing much harder. Having a support system whether it’s close family, friends, or a trusted community gives you a safe space to share your pain and feel less alone in the process.
Support can come in different forms. Sometimes it’s a friend who listens without judgment, other times it’s a group of people who have gone through similar experiences. Surrounding yourself with people who understand, or at least want to support you, can ease the loneliness that often follows when losing a parent.
Even with the best intentions, loved ones may not always know how to help. A grief counsellor, psychologist or support group can offer a different kind of listening alongside the people around you. It is not about replacing your connections but about having more than one place to turn.
Remember, grief can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to face it alone. Leaning on the people around you, and on professional support when you need it, can help you through the days that feel heaviest.
Step 3: Create Healthy Coping Rituals
When losing a parent, it’s natural to look for ways to ease the pain. Unfortunately, some people turn to unhealthy coping habits such as overworking, overeating, or relying on alcohol. While these may provide temporary relief, they often make grief feel heavier in the long run. Choosing healthy rituals can create a sense of stability and gently guide you toward healing.
Simple practices like journaling, walking, meditation, or setting aside quiet time each day can help you process emotions in a safe and meaningful way. These rituals don’t need to be complex even lighting a candle, listening to calming music, or keeping a gratitude list can provide comfort and structure during difficult times. Over time, these small actions can help make the journey after losing a parent feel more manageable.
Healthy coping rituals also allow you to honour your parent’s memory in positive ways. You might cook their favourite meal, revisit meaningful places, or create a scrapbook of cherished memories. These actions can help you stay connected to them in a way that feels gentler.
If you find it hard to keep up healthy habits, that is common in grief. Start with one small thing, ask someone to check in on you, and if low mood or poor sleep carries on, speak to your GP. Small rituals can become anchors on the harder days.
Step 4: Honour Their Memory
One of the most meaningful ways to cope with losing a parent is to honour their memory. Grief often brings both pain and love to the surface, and finding ways to celebrate their life can help you stay connected without being consumed by sadness. Honouring them allows you to shift from focusing solely on the loss to appreciating the moments you shared.
This can be done in personal and creative ways. You might plant a tree in their name, write letters to them when you miss them, or keep a photo album of special memories. Some people choose to engage in charitable acts or community service in honour of their parent’s values. These gestures keep their spirit alive in your life while giving you a sense of purpose and comfort.
Honouring a parent doesn’t have to be grand even small rituals like sharing stories with family or lighting a candle on anniversaries can bring peace. What matters is creating a practice that feels authentic to you and reflects the love you carry forward.
If remembering feels too painful right now, it is fine to go slowly. A counsellor can help you find a pace that feels manageable, so that memories can sit alongside the sadness rather than being pushed away.
Step 5: Take Steps Toward Emotional Healing
After losing a parent, it’s normal to feel as though life will never be the same. The truth is, healing doesn’t mean forgetting your parent or erasing the pain it means learning to carry the loss in a way that doesn’t overwhelm you every day. Taking small but intentional steps toward emotional healing is essential for rebuilding your sense of balance and peace.
This might involve practicing self-care, returning to hobbies that bring joy, or slowly creating new routines that support your wellbeing. Healing also means allowing yourself to dream and plan for the future again, even while holding onto the love and lessons your parent gave you. Each step forward is a reminder that you are not leaving them behind but continuing with their influence in your heart.
For many people, the weight of grief feels too heavy to manage alone, and that is when professional support matters. A GP can talk through your options and, if it fits, set up a Mental Health Treatment Plan with a referral to a psychologist. Support does not erase the loss, but many people find it makes the loss easier to carry.
Healing after losing a parent takes time, patience, and compassion for yourself. Many people find that personal practices and professional support, together, help them gradually find a way to live with the loss while their memory brings comfort as well as pain.
Understanding the Emotional Stages of Grief
When losing a parent, the emotions that follow can feel overwhelming and unpredictable. The stages of grief denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are often used as a framework to describe this journey. While not everyone experiences these stages in the same order, recognising them can help normalise what you’re going through and remind you that grief is a natural process.
Denial and Anger
In the early stages, denial often acts as a protective shield, giving your mind time to process the shock of losing a parent. It may feel unreal, as though your parent will still walk through the door. As denial fades, anger can emerge sometimes directed at yourself, loved ones, or even the circumstances of the loss. These emotions may feel unsettling, but they are a normal response to such a life-changing event.
Acknowledging denial and anger is the first step toward moving through them. Instead of resisting these feelings, allowing yourself to express them through talking, journaling, or therapy can ease their intensity.
Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance
Bargaining often comes with “what if” thoughts wondering if something could have been done differently to prevent the loss. This can lead into depression, where the weight of sadness feels heavier and daily life becomes difficult to manage. These stages may feel endless, but they are part of the mind’s way of working through pain.
Eventually, acceptance comes not as forgetting or moving on, but as learning to live with the reality of losing a parent. Acceptance doesn’t erase grief. Not everyone moves through these stages, or in this order, and there is no right way to grieve. If the sadness does not seem to lift, a GP or psychologist can help.
Taking Care of Your Physical Health During Grief
Grief after losing a parent doesn’t just affect your emotions it also takes a toll on your body. Fatigue, poor sleep, and appetite changes are common responses, often leaving you drained and vulnerable. Caring for your physical health may feel like a small step, but it plays a powerful role in supporting your overall healing.
How Grief Impacts the Body
The stress of losing a parent can trigger physical changes that you might not expect. Many people struggle with insomnia or restless sleep, while others feel constantly tired, no matter how much they rest. Appetite can fluctuate too some people overeat for comfort, while others lose interest in food altogether. These shifts are natural, but if they carry on they can wear you down, so mention them to your GP.
Understanding that these physical symptoms are part of grief helps you approach them with patience rather than frustration. By noticing how grief affects your body, you can begin to take small, intentional steps toward restoring balance.
Small but Powerful Habits
Even during times of deep sorrow, simple routines can make a big difference. Drinking enough water, eating balanced meals, and incorporating light activity such as walking or stretching can improve both energy and mood. These habits don’t erase the pain of losing a parent, but they give your body the strength to cope with emotional demands.
Small acts of self-care also create a sense of structure when everything feels uncertain. Whether it’s preparing a nourishing breakfast, setting a consistent sleep schedule, or taking a short walk outside, these choices remind you that your wellbeing matters too.
If Grief Is Disrupting Your Sleep
Broken sleep is one of the most common effects of grief. If it carries on, mention it to your GP, who can look at what is going on. Some people also use calming audio, including self-guided Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming sessions, as one part of a wind-down routine alongside professional care. It is designed to help develop more useful ways of responding, not to treat insomnia or grief, and individual experiences vary.
When to Seek Professional Support
Grief is a deeply personal journey, but sometimes the weight of losing a parent can feel too heavy to carry alone. While family and friends may provide comfort, there are times when professional support becomes necessary. Knowing when to seek help is an important step toward protecting both your emotional and physical wellbeing.
Recognising the Signs
It’s natural to feel sadness after losing a parent, but if grief is not easing, or it keeps disrupting your daily life, it may be time to reach out. Signs that professional support could help include constant feelings of hopelessness, withdrawing from loved ones, difficulty functioning at work or school, turning to alcohol or other unhealthy coping habits, or thoughts of harming yourself. These struggles don’t mean you are weak. They mean your grief is asking for more care.
Acknowledging these signs is not about rushing your healing but about making sure you’re not stuck in pain without support. Seeking professional help can provide fresh tools and perspectives that make the journey more manageable.
Where to Get Help
Therapists, counsellors and grief specialists offer spaces where you can express your emotions freely, without judgment. A GP is a good starting point: they can talk through what you are experiencing and, if it fits, refer you on. Professional support does not replace the love and connection you shared with your parent. It can help you carry the loss in a way that feels more manageable.
You can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 (24/7) to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Griefline (1300 845 745) offers free phone support for adults who are grieving.
If you need help now
If you are in immediate danger or at risk of harming yourself, contact emergency services immediately.
Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14 | Emergency 000
USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline | Emergency 911
UK: Samaritans 116 123 | Emergency 999
Where Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming May Fit
Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming is the process used within the Mindshift Method, created by Rob Edmonds, who holds a Diploma of Clinical Hypnosis and Strategic Psychotherapy and is a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner. It draws on Clinical Hypnosis, Strategic Psychotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Clinical Hypnosis is used to create a highly focused state of attention. Within that state, Strategic Psychotherapy identifies and works with unhelpful patterns and is designed to help develop more useful ways of thinking, responding and behaving. Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques may be used throughout to interrupt unhelpful patterns and anchor more useful responses.
In the Mindshift Method app it is delivered as self-guided audio, usually 15 to 20 minutes a session. Grief is not something to be fixed, and Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming does not treat grief, prolonged grief or depression. Some people use a session as a quiet part of the day, for example to settle at night, or to work with unhelpful patterns of thinking that can build up around loss. While listening, you remain aware and in control, able to hear what is being said and respond if you choose. Do not listen while driving or operating machinery.
The sessions are designed to be repeated, and there is no fixed timeframe. People respond differently. Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming does not diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition, and it works alongside appropriate professional care, not instead of it. It has not been through an independent clinical trial as a complete branded method. You can read what has and has not been tested on our evidence page.
It may not suit you if grief is affecting your safety or your ability to function. In that case please start with the help above.
One session free for 7 nights · No credit card · $29.95/month unlocks all 50+ sessions · Cancel anytime.
9 FAQs About Losing a Parent
How long does grieving a parent usually take?
Grief doesn’t follow a fixed timeline. Some people feel ready to move forward in months, while others may take years. What matters is allowing yourself to grieve at your own pace.
Is it normal to feel anger after losing a parent?
Yes, anger is a common part of grief. It may stem from loss, regret, or feeling left behind. Finding a safe way to express it, such as talking, writing or speaking with a counsellor, can help.
Why do I feel numb instead of sad?
Numbness is a common response to loss. Your mind may block intense emotions for a while until you’re ready to feel them. If it carries on for a long time, or worries you, talk to your GP.
Can grief affect my physical health?
Yes, grief can bring fatigue, sleep problems and changes in appetite, and being run down can leave you more open to getting sick. That’s why self-care and healthy coping practices are so important.
How do I explain my grief to others?
Be honest about your feelings, even if you don’t have the perfect words. Simply saying, “I’m still hurting” helps others understand and support you.
Should I seek professional help for my grief?
If grief feels overwhelming or keeps disrupting daily life, talking to your GP, a counsellor or a psychologist is a good next step. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, call 000 or Lifeline on 13 11 14 straight away.
Where does Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming fit with grief?
It is a self-guided audio method designed to help develop more useful ways of thinking and responding. It does not treat grief, prolonged grief or depression, it works alongside professional care, and people respond differently.
Is it possible to ever feel “normal” again after losing a parent?
Life may never be exactly the same. Many people find that over time, and with support, they build a new way of living alongside the loss while they keep cherishing their parent’s memory.
Is Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming right for me?
It may suit you if you want a gentle, self-guided option alongside the support of people and professionals around you. It may not suit you if grief is affecting your safety or your ability to function, in which case start with your GP or the help above. There is no fixed timeframe and individual experiences vary.
Conclusion
Grief is never easy, especially when it comes to losing a parent. It is a deeply personal journey, and there is no single timeline or “right” way to grieve. Some days may feel heavier than others, but every step you take toward acknowledging your emotions and caring for yourself matters.
While nothing can take away the love and bond you shared, the weight of grief doesn’t have to be carried alone. Talk to the people around you, speak to your GP or a counsellor if it feels like too much, and if you would like a gentle, self-guided option alongside that support, Cognitive Pattern Reprogramming sessions are available in the Mindshift Method app, including a session on grief called Loss of a Loved One.
Browse the twelve MindShift pathways to find the guided audio sessions closest to what you are dealing with. You can try one session free for 7 nights, no credit card.
